


Pipe the Three Words Lightly

by iam93percentstardust



Series: Starkbucks Bingo 2020 [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bad Days, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Insecurity, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26284765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iam93percentstardust/pseuds/iam93percentstardust
Summary: Sometimes, these bad days happen. Sometimes, Bucky wonders why he ever thought he would be good enough for Tony. Sometimes, he loathes himself for asking that they keep their relationship quiet for a few months.Luckily, on these days, Tony is right there beside him to promise he's not going anywhere.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Starkbucks Bingo 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772419
Comments: 10
Kudos: 230
Collections: StarkBucksBingo2020





	Pipe the Three Words Lightly

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Sara Teasdale's poem I Love You
> 
> Title: Pipe the Three Words Lightly  
> Collaborator Name: iam93percentstardust  
> Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26284765  
> Square Filled: G3 - Almost Kiss  
> Ship/Main Pairing: Winteriron  
> Rating: G  
> Major Tags & Triggers: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Emotional Hurt/Comfort  
> Word Count: 1.5k

Bucky slips from their bed early in the morning, casting one last regretful look behind him as he heads out into the kitchen. Tony looks so peaceful when he sleeps, all the worries he carries around on his shoulder gone as he dreams about hopefully nice things like kittens and flying and Bucky. He wants to climb back into their bed, curl around Tony again, and fall back asleep until it’s a more reasonable time and he can kiss Tony awake without worrying about his boyfriend biting his head off. But he promised Steve they would go running this morning and he doesn’t want to break that promise, especially when Steve doesn’t yet know why Bucky doesn’t want to go anywhere.

His mouth twists as he sits on the edge of the bed to pull on his running shoes. He knows that Tony doesn’t mind keeping their relationship to themselves while Bucky figures out how to tell the team but he wishes he could give him everything now. Tony deserves to have a partner who’ll shout it from the rooftops that he is loved, not someone who doesn’t want to tell anyone because three months ago, he still didn’t have all his memories back and doesn’t want their relationship scrutinized under a microscope to determine if he’s _really_ ready for a relationship. Bucky thinks he’s ready, Tony claims he _knows_ Bucky is, so why does it matter so much to him that everyone else does too?

He pushes himself and Steve hard on their run that morning, probably harder than he should if the worried looks Steve is giving him are anything to go off of. He doesn’t want Steve to ask him questions about his stress but he can’t shake the lingering doubts from his mind.

It’s ridiculous to think that Tony would leave him because of their secret relationship but every time Bucky starts thinking about all the things Tony deserves—dinners at fancy restaurants and flowers as pretty as he is and kisses on the cheek just because—he starts worrying that one day, Tony is going to wake up, realize that Bucky won’t be able to give him that for a long time, and decide that they’re not worth it anymore.

They get back to the tower right around the time that the sun is rising over the city, casting a pretty glow over the ordinarily dull and dingy streets. Why Tony decided to build his tower here instead of back in Malibu where at least there was a view of the ocean is beyond him. Don’t get him wrong, Bucky loves New York but he definitely thinks Tony could have done better for himself.

“Buck, you doing okay?” Steve asks him in the elevator as they shoot up through the tower. The ride is smooth enough that the first time Bucky had stepped foot in it, until the doors had opened again to reveal Clint grappling with Sam over the remote in the team’s living room, he had thought that the elevator wasn’t moving.

“I’m fine,” he mumbles, resting his head against the mirrored wall so he can feel the minute vibrations.

“Cause if you’re having another bad day, that’s perfectly okay. We can go to my floor, eat breakfast there instead. You won’t have to deal with the team today,” Steve says anxiously and it really is great that he cares so much. If Bucky were any other mood, he’d probably appreciate it but today, he apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed because he just scowls.

“I’m _fine_ ,” he repeats firmly.

“Are you sure? I know Clint was planning to start another prank war with Bruce—don’t know why he does when he always loses—and Tony told me last night that he finished another round of updates for everyone that he was going to hand out at breakfast. I know he can talk a lot and if that’s not something you want—”

“I said I’m _fine_ , Steve,” he snaps, rubbing at his temples.

Really, he knows that Steve means well, knows he didn’t mean anything negative with his comment about Tony. In the early days, when Bucky hadn’t wanted to be around anyone but Steve and his bad days meant huddling in the dark in silence, he probably would have appreciated the warning about Tony’s talkativeness. These days though, his bad days mean cuddling up in the penthouse with Tony as his boyfriend silently works on one of his tablets.

Steve frowns again but he doesn’t say anything else, which Bucky appreciates. As soon as the elevator doors open, he stalks off, heading straight for the kitchen where he can hear Tony singing along to some Italian opera he doesn’t know the words to.

Tony is up early unusually early today. Whether that’s because JARVIS told him Bucky was having a bad day or for some other reason, Bucky doesn’t know and he doesn’t really care because when he turns the corner and sees Tony in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie and standing at the stove poking dubiously at an omelet, it’s like a breath of fresh air. He’s halfway across the kitchen and leaning in for a kiss when Tony’s eyes widen and he steps away.

A wave of cold washes over him. Has it started already? Has Tony already started to realize that Bucky isn’t worth his love anymore?

Tony’s eyes jump back to his and they widen still further before going worried. He opens his mouth—

“Morning, Tony,” Steve says cautiously from behind him.

Oh. That’s—Tony was just—he was just thinking about Steve and how Bucky hadn’t wanted to tell anyone about their relationship. Bucky doesn’t know if he’s relieved or disappointed, relieved that it’s still a secret, disappointed that he’d lost the chance for the choice to be taken from his hands and he wouldn’t have had to decide when to tell the team.

He turns slowly, wondering what put the cautious note in Steve’s voice. But it doesn’t look like Steve has realized that Bucky had been about to kiss Tony right in front of him. It looks almost like he’s warning Tony off of being, well, Tony.

And that’s just about the last straw for him. The stress of keeping this secret from the team, worrying about whether or not he’s not good enough for his boyfriend, the missed kiss, Steve trying to protect him from someone who loves him. It’s all just too much and he turns and stalks right back out of the kitchen and into the elevator, hitting the button for the penthouse hard enough that it breaks beneath his metal finger. He huffs; sure, like breaking Tony’s stuff will endear Bucky to him.

The penthouse is still dark and cool, not that Bucky notices much as he speeds through it, heading straight for their bedroom. He takes a quick shower, rinsing off the sink from the run, and then all but dives onto the bed, burrowing as much as he can under the blankets. He closes his eyes, trembling minutely and wondering if he can start the day all over again and this time laze in bed with Tony the way he had wanted to earlier.

After a couple minutes, he hears quiet footsteps padding across the floor. Tony climbs up onto the bed and then joins him under the blankets. He wraps himself around Bucky like an octopus, clinging to him even though he’s probably still wet from the shower.

“Bad day?” Tony asks quietly.

Bucky nods as best as he can with his face buried in a pillow.

Tony hums. “Want to talk about it?”

Bucky gives him one baleful eye. Mr. I’ll-bottle-all-my-feelings-up-until-I-die offering to talk about it, that’s not hypocritical at all.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Tony says with a chuckle. He presses a kiss to the side of Bucky’s neck and then tucks his face into the curve of his shoulder, inhaling deeply. They’re quiet for a long time, just breathing together as Tony occasionally turns his head and kisses every inch of Bucky that he can reach.

“Why are you here?” Bucky asks eventually, not sure if he means here physically or here with him.

“Because I love you,” Tony says simply like it’s an unarguable fact of life. Bucky inhales sharply. They’ve never said those words before though he’s thought them many times. He had started to wonder if Tony even returned the feeling, though he knew the thought was ridiculous. But his insecurities hadn’t stopped him from wondering. “And I hate to see you hurting. I know you worry about it sometimes, but I promise you darling, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I didn’t want to leave you this morning,” he admits. If Tony can be honest, then he can at least make the effort to be honest as well. “That’s what started it today.”

“Hmm.” Tony kisses him again. “I’m sorry.”

“’s not your fault.”

“Nope but I’m still sorry it’s been a bad day.”

“…It’s getting better.”

He feels Tony’s lips curve against his shoulder in a smile. “Glad I can help, babe. You think we could throw the blankets off our heads though? It’s getting hot under here.”

They get themselves rearranged, Bucky on his side, Tony tucked up behind him with his arm thrown over Bucky’s waist. JARVIS starts piping in the sound of the ocean, something that Tony had told him months ago helps during his own bad days. He guesses that’s because it reminds him of Malibu. It’s not as effective at helping the bad days for Bucky but it _does_ make for excellent white noise to help him drift back off to sleep.

As his eyelids droop closed and his brain goes fuzzy, he whispers into the stillness, “I love you.”

Tony smiles, kisses his nape—Bucky feels goosebumps rise along his skin—and says, “I know.”


End file.
